I’ve heard your pain, your hurts and your worries and I have felt them myself. Being a Foster parent is not an easy job. As a matter of fact, it’s the toughest job you’ll ever love.
Nobody fully understands what it entails and nor will they ever completely get it…unless of course, they too are given the heart to walk the hard road of fostering for themselves.
These children come in all different fashions when they arrive at our door. They can be any or all of these things when we are finally introduced. (fear filled, fragile, desperate, beaten, neglected, starving, anxious, confused, shaken, hyper, mischievous, hurtful, calm, depressed, etc.) They often face other struggles because of their life circumstances. (Attachment disorders, learning disabilities, sleep disorders, post trauma disorders, fetal alcohol syndrome, severe anxiety, processing disorders, and so on)
We don’t just open our doors and everyone blends perfectly together. We cautiously open our hearts too. And when we do that just right, so many other things start to unfold. We long to really “know them” so we can care for them just right. The unknowns about “who they are” and “what they will be like” brings on our own set of pre-placement anxieties. We wish we had all the important information upfront. And we somehow accept that we may never really know much of anything. (What have they gone through? Will we be all that they need to heal?) So many things matter in how we move forward, yet little is ever answered. We help them transition the best that we can. We set out to love unconditionally and try not to have preconceived expectations. We are on call 24/7. So therefore, we live a life of spontaneity. Organization becomes second nature and we learn quickly to utilize resources when a call comes. We usually over think things, analyze everything, and have only a handful of people (or less) that we can talk to…about everything.
The life of Fostering is a hard one. It’s exhausting emotionally and physically. It is definitely not for all. It makes our hearts ache, our heads spin and can turn things upside down in our families for awhile. But…it is desperately needed! It’s rewards are great! And it is making a difference, one child and one family at time! And in the midst of some crazy days/nights, weeks/months, and sometimes years…as we do what we are called to do…somehow, someway, the blessings manage to outweigh each and every struggle and heartache.
We may not see the progress or healing while they are in our homes, but we claim it for each child and family. We have faith and it outweighs a failing system. We cannot do it by “our power” so we trust an unfailing God and “His power” to do all things. We seek the Lord as we keep pouring out. He fills us daily, so we can keep our focus and move forward with every struggle. We pray His perfect plan unfolds in everyone of our Foster children(s) lives. And sometimes His plan is a forever home through adoption.
Remember…You (WE) are not “just a Foster parent.”
We are comforters in the middle of the night, when a child wakes with night tremors or wants their Mom.
We are therapists who hear the things that would break anyones heart.
We try our best to speak wise words of love and truth…when at times we are struck to complete speechlessness.
We become reporters, when a child opens up for the first time. Or there is visual evidence of wrong doing.
We are transporters as we caravan repeatedly to appointments, court dates and visitations.
We quickly become patient advocates as we seek every service and resource for a child’s medical needs.
And….We are professional child advocates as we fight for the help our child(ren) need in school, with daily tasks, or life in general.
We are often the first real example of a parent (mom or dad) and it’s imperative that these children have one.
We can improvise and change routines or plans in a split second.
We are a quick learners and we learn things about our child(ren) and…ourselves daily!
We multi task and meet the needs of our husbands, bio kids and that of your placements. (which all bring there own challenges)
We appear to be super mom to others, but often we feel alone on your mission to save the world…one child at a time.
We sit for long hours at appointments, in court, at therapy and visitations, and sometimes still work other jobs outside of the home.
We are happy doing what we are called to do despite the chaos at times.
We are creative and fun loving…
We are motivated and determined.
And…We are so much more!!
I know YOU…I am You!
You have cried in the quiet
And yelled privately at the system
You encourage yourself to keep going
And question everything you do
You have doubts
And you talk yourself out of them
You are happy with baby steps
And ecstatic with big ones
You jump for joy when you sleep all night
And you try to catch up on sleep when you don’t
You shoot to move mountains
And are satisfied when you help a molehill move
You love the smiles and laughter
And you look forward to new goals
You get discouraged when trust is broken
And you hurt when a child leaves
You prepare your bios from the loss that’s to come
And you protect and guard your own heart without even knowing
You worry about outcomes
And you wonder about plans
You love each and every crazy minute of your life
And….You love and provide so much more!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! You are like me. And WE are like so many others. And WE are all called to love! To live life and help others to live their lives better. To make the world brighter! To make a difference and then some!
So let the difference your making be inspiring. Let your story be told.
Let your love shine brightly in 2016!
Remember, We are so much more then what the world sees as “JUST a Foster Parent”.
We are a Gift to a child..a Blessing to a hurting family… and a crucial piece of stability to a system that needs our help.
We are changing the world…