Ok, Here it goes….the story behind the updated FaceBook profile pic!
I’ve been In the dumps emotionally. Spiritually, Is the only way I’ve maintained for the last few months. But it’s doing its toll now…physically.
Thanks be to Jesus for his strength to persevere through rough patches in life. Those days of uncertainty and of pain.
The emotional toll that grief takes on a person is hard, to say the least. Its sneakiness comes like a lion’s roar in my mind, at moments that I don’t expect. I’m a fixer, and I can’t fix the feelings my self or my family members are pressing on through.
Losing my Momma2, has made me think of all the special things I’ve missed over the years, with my own parents. (living states away) Coming to the terms, that those are moments, I can’t get back, took me deeper in grief for the loss of my Mother in Law. I am forever grateful for the moments and the relationship we had. We had a very special bond. Both of us vowed in our hearts, and spoke to each other, about loving her baby till each of our last breaths. She did just that…and I will do my part as well.
I keep physically busy when I’m emotionally drained. Yes, I’ve been too busy. Then I slowly start to shut doors to people in my heart, to resist any more pain. (I’ve recognized this is where I am now) I tend to fold up my emotions like a fitted bed sheet and tuck them away in a drawer, that’s already way too full.
In recognizing there’s no more room to tuck away my emotions, I started the process of decluttering. I began with my mind.
I know who I am In Christ and what my purpose is!! I have been reminded over and over again in my life, that at the lowest of times, the strength I have within me, is because of that knowledge.
Looking cute has been the least of my worries. (when you are in a rut no one sees you anyway, right?) So, yesterday I had a very subtle moment, that became profound for me.
I had a focus and a plan…
It was a pink lipstick kinda day!
It was a day that I made the decision to Be brave, Be bold, and continue to shine bright.
I’m a work in progress, just like you. We all have our moments that seem
blurry. We all need to continue to strive for our moments of clarity. God’s word and his promises are what have always given me the focus and the desire to move again.
There is NO stopping allowed here!
So yesterday, I breathed in and out…and I wore pink lipstick around my house.