Shared from Blessings In The Chaos
McKenzie – Our fourth gift.
Two months after Austin’s adoption was final we received a call from the Department of Social Services to Foster a sibling group of three girls. The girls were two, four and nine years old. There wasn’t much hesitation in us saying yes. It was known by the Department that we would do our best to take in any child that needed to be cared for. We discussed it as a family and prayed before giving them our final answer. From the day they arrived in our home in July 2007, until the day McKenzie’s adoption was final in November 2009 it was a whirl wind of chaos. There were days I felt alone, misunderstood and even miss guided by the Department. It was God alone who gave me the strength to dig deep and move forward. There were many times I prayed for God to reveal the blessings to me. Being a parent to six kids with three of them having additional special needs was emotionally draining. I reminded myself often why we chose to go into Foster Care. I knew that we were making a difference, but I didn’t always see it. Remembering why we were in the chaos, always gave me the boost I needed to continue on in full force.
McKenzie was the youngest and the frailest. Although she was two years old, she only weighed 17 lbs. and wore size 9-12 month clothing. She had already had her tonsils and adenoids removed. She had suffered from a bowel blockage and was so tiny that it scared me to hold her too tightly. She did not speak when she came. Most of her basic needs were quickly met by her oldest sister who had been her primary care taker.
I would love to say that when termination of the parental rights happened we were relieved and had peace. This would be far from the truth. We were extremely torn, and frustrated with the decisions the Social Workers, Therapist, Lawyers and Judge was making in regards to what they felt was in the best interest of the girls. They made the decision to separate them. At the time, we just couldn’t wrap our heads or our hearts around that decision. It’s awful hard to trust God when you are experiencing great pain.
We have never been the same from the moment the three of them entered our home and our hearts. It wasn’t an easy road, but Kent and I continued to remain obedient with every twist and turn we were faced with. We understand that we were created with a purpose to love those who may seem unlovable to others. We do not possess or pretend to have the answers. We have no greater option but to seek God daily for guidance in raising all of our children. We look for joy in each moment and have become great at finding the blessings where others may see none. We fill ourselves in God’s presence often. This has allowed us to continue to pour out and into others with every chance that we get. God knew that we would make a great team.
Adoption can make your heart ache, your head spin and can turn things in your family upside down for a while. But the blessings do outweigh the chaos. They even manage to outweigh every struggle and disappointment too. Remember you are not alone in this endeavor. There are many others that have been or are in the trenches with you. And God will never leave your side. Even when you think you are failing and do not see him working, remember he is always working on your behalf. So keep keeping on despite the chaos you may endure and love fiercely as he loves you. Don’t lose hope. For hope will continue to change the world one child at a time.
This is just a small piece of my second Adoption story in the book I have Co-Authored with many other Christian women. The details of her story and our other two adoptions are shared in length in the book. I am so excited that it is in publishing now. I cannot wait to encourage others on their adoption journey and to help fund forever homes for others.
Other Sneak Peeks can be read here: