A letter written to my 45 year old self.

Dear Self,

You have the ability to look back….”way back I might add” and see the works of our great God in your life. For this alone you should be thankful and remain humble so that you can be used by Him.

In moments of tragedy and triumph, God was who you sought, and even in your own disbelief He remained faithful, true and sovereign.

Being a Pastor’s wife, friend, sister, and daughter are all special titles to hold. But nothing compares to being a child of God first!

You couldn’t wait to hold the title of “Mother” but quickly life made you realize that being a mother is not what defines you. It was in your mothering that you realized how incapable you were and how awesome your God really is! God continues to come to your rescue over and over and over…..

Loosing your first child brought despair, loss and pain. The love of a compassionate husband brought comfort but the true healing came from your Heavenly Father. 

Words cannot describe the excitement, love and joy that the birth of your first son and daughter radiated. Nothing could ever compare to those precious moments. The miraculous gift of life still amazes you! 

You didn’t give birth to all five of your children, but the Lord divinely placed all of them in your hearts forever. May your heart always be tender, gracious and thankful to the three mothers who chose life even in their own struggles to parent. When you were much younger adoption was only a seed planted. It took years of watering before it ever began to blossom.  It has bloomed far more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 

Your children don’t all look alike, have the same traits, or have your eyes, but they are all covered by the same blood. They have been entrusted to you to love, train, cherish and to one day spend eternity together. We are a family! 

Mothering comes natural to you. Having additional children have always blessed your home with even more love and laughter. Becoming a foster mother was a decision made after wanting to do more for the hurting children in your community. Looking outside your home to “mother” has been a lesson in obedience! 

You never thought the teenage years were going to happen. You still look into their hearts as your precious babies and they continue to grow more independently every year. It won’t be long until all your children will soon become adults. May you always see them as your little God given bundles of joy. Each full of talents and gifts that can be used for His glory. 

Becoming a MiMi at the age of 44 was not on your life’s agenda but Gods plan is far better than your own. His timing is proven to be much more accurate than what you try to achieve timely.  He’s plan is perfect! 

Your personal goals have often taken a side step, sacrifices have been made numerous times, life’s journey has had twists and turns…. yet a beautiful masterpiece has been strategically unfolding in your life since your own birth. You are a work of art by the master creator! 

Your relationship with your own mother is beyond measure the greatest relationship on earth. You recognize the God given uniqueness now more than ever.  The special dynamics of a “parent relationship” has been beautifully defined through both of your aging. You are blessed by your mother daily! 

So this week with Mothers Day approaching, I’m not writing to pat you on the back. You are nothing! God is everything! I’m reminding you to always use your own experiences, gifts and talents to encourage, uplift and inspire other mothers just like you. Pay the goodness forward with what the Lord has given onto you.

Woman should not solely define them selves as “mother” but as children (woman) of God. Mothering without Him will bring worry and despair. All mother’s are divenly chosen by God, called and given the awesome responsibility to raise children to love Jesus! You need to continue to grow yourself in Him! 

Happy Mother’s Day!  Remember that the meaning of life and the understanding of your journey will continue to unfold as you grow older and walk by faith.  Through Him alone you are stronger than any test or trial and through Him alone you’ll find your greatest joys! You can rest assured that one day you will be in your heavenly home because of His Amazing Grace! 

May you always hoard the word, trust without boarders and hold faith with no fences. This year for Mother’s Day, I pray that you and all those that God has connected you with…will Shine On! Let your life and your relationship with the Lord define you.  Use everything you know and experience to further His kingdom. Never be afraid to reach out when you need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear!  Other Mothers are there for you, just as you are there for them! 

Written to encourage all who read this letter. 

With love from, 
Your 45 year old self

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